To Tell or Not to Tell?

Every time someone asks my opinion on if they should tell a spouse, employer, friend, or child about their decision to have plastic surgery, my answer is always the same.   This is a very personal decision that must be made on your own. For some, it is a decision made with much thought; for others it is simply a matter of when to tell.  The question you have to ask yourself is what type of person are you?

Questions You Should Ask Yourself:

1. Are you the type of person who is easily hurt by the judgmental comments of others?
2. Are you afraid of the ramifications of your elective surgery and how they can affect your personal life if undesirables find out?
3. Are you afraid that the news of your surgery may affect your job?
4. Are you concerned that your significant other may be upset with you should you decide to have a cosmetic surgery procedure?
5. Are you “thin-skinned” and concerned what others may think of you should they find out you have had a cosmetic procedure?

If you have said yes to any of the above, careful consideration should be made in determining who you should confide in, or if you should at all.   However, I do not suggest going this alone.  I feel that one needs a support structure for optimal healing.   During the healing period, highs and lows are to be expected and without a support structure (even a solitary friend who can be there for you), the lows can dip right into the deep end. Of course depending upon what type of procedure you have can determine if you will be able to keep it a secret at all. If you have a total makeover or considerable facial plastic surgery—it may be obvious.  You are under no obligation to tell anyone about your plastic surgery procedures. 

As for keeping your surgery news from your significant other, I do not condone this, but this is also not my decision.  I feel that if you must keep major events such as these from a loved one, then you are indeed betraying their trust to a certain degree.   In the event that something should happen, your significant other will need to know where you are and what you have gone through to help you.  If they find out after the fact, they may be very upset.  I know many believe that asking forgiveness is easier than asking permission, but I assure you, it may not be that easy if it is a spouse!

Keeping the rumor mill quiet at your place of employment can be a real challenge.  Everyone knows their coworkers love good gossip, especially when it comes to cosmetic surgery.  If you can take off at least two weeks of vacation time, this can help immensely but like I said, significant changes in facial features are hard to disguise with a simple change of hair color or haircut. Be prepared to be asked questions, even inappropriate ones.  Just know that a peaceful, non-threatening and comfortable workplace is your right, as well as your right to retain personal privacy without the onslaught of harassment by anyone for any reason.  If you ever feel uncomfortable as several of our forum members have, you have every right to demand respect and privacy. Don’t let anyone bully you into talking, or harass you constantly about, “I know you’ve had [this or that] done. Admit it!”  This is your body, not someone’s gossip fodder. Take a stand.

If you choose to tell, do so without fear of judgment. Make a point to be proud and show no fear.  Those who are jealous often react and prey upon our fears, so give them a smile and keep your chin up.

Telling children can be a different matter entirely.  They are going to notice eventually, don’t ever think a child is unobservant, they notice everything eventually even if they don’t come out and say it. It is obviously your choice to tell your child, but being matter of fact can be a good way to handle the situation.  Making it a huge deal with invoke curiosity and chatter, being nonchalant about it may not trigger much interest. So the amount of interest you wish you invoke is largely dependent upon the child’s age and personality.   You know your child best, you will figure it out.  Perhaps join the ladies on the Tummy Tuck forum , as they have had a lot of experience confiding in their children about their procedure.

If you have any great stories (or not so great stories) about how you let everyone know, or not know, or if you were “outed” by a friend, please post!

Injectables for Cheekbones

As many of you may already know I am pretty much obsessed with prominent cheek bones. I love full cheeks, not the fatty, puffy cheeks you see in overly fat-grafted patients, or even the natural, pudgy cheeks. But high, exquisite, chiseled cheekbones with a youthful, but not significant, fat layer on top of them catches my eye above most other facial attributes. In fact, I think one of the first compliments I ever gave my boyfriend before I asked him out (yes, I asked him out) was that he had really great cheekbones. They aren’t too bony so that his face looks gaunt, and not they’re not too plump either—they are just right. He must be incredibly tired of my complimenting him, “I love your cheekbones” as I trace my finger on his face. He just rolls his eyes and thinks I am nuts. I can’t help it.

So, if we don’t have beautiful cheekbones naturally, how do we buy them?? What does it take to create perfect, high cheekbones? Although I have pretty prominent cheekbones I have had my share of injections to make them more so. Unfortunately, it never lasts much past the swollen stage. Let’s look at the most popular options in injectable cheek fillers… •

• Radiesse: I have had Radiesse in my lips, and I don’t recommend it there, but I have seen it used for the jawline, cheeks and chin. The results have been pretty phenomenal although it did not last as long as they had hoped. It is certainly worth a look-see. The cost of Radiesse is still about $1,500. a CC.
• Sculptra: I have had Sculptra injected into my undereyes and nasolabials. I felt that it took too long to achieve nominal results for considerable augmentation. I honestly would not choose it personally, although I have seen fantastic results in those with lypodystrophy. The cost can be a few thousand over a course of 3-6 months.
• Restylane (also JuveDerm, and Perlane): Although I have not had Restylane in my cheeks, I have had it in the upper eyelid, undereyes, the nasolabials, and lips. I love it! It works. But you get a lot of swelling associated with hyaluronic acid injections and this can set you up for disappointment simply based upon becoming accustomed to larger cheeks/lips/etc. even though they are clearly larger in the after photos. I have seen Restylane used for the cheeks and feel it can give you a very nice result. It is also temporary so if you can’t stand it, you won’t have it forever. The cost for Restylane can run you about $900+ for 2 cc. but you may not need that much. Subtlety is a good way to start.
• Fat Grafting: I have had fat grafting twice and both times the fat layer disappeared in the areas I wanted to retain it and stayed in areas I did not like it. When you go slow, fat grafting can be very nice. It can enhance al already existing cheek structure, or it can smooth the harshness of implants under thin skin. Fat grafting can run you anywhere from $2000. to $6000. and may take several sessions.
• Artfil (formerly Artecoll): Microscopic beads of polymethylmethacrylate (or PMMA, the same material PlexiGlas is made from, can be suspended in a carrier and injected in several sessions to trigger your own collagen to grow. It can, however, take a considerable amount of the injectable to make a difference once the carrier is absorbed by your body. Artefil can cost about $1200+ for a cc.
• Cheek Implants: Although not an injectable, cheek implants are still an option. It can be used in conjunction with the above options for a natural result if you go to the right surgeon. Cheek implants can run you about $5000.-$10,000. depending upon whom you choose as your surgeon.

I have always been fascinated by high cheekbones so as their appeal has come and gone, they have always remained a favorite with me. I remember when the trend was to have plump cheeks. However, I felt it never made anyone look younger, rather they looked overstuffed to me (think Rene Zelwegger). When you take a stick-thin woman and fill her face with fat, it doesn’t look natural. But having a gaunt face can age you considerably. You may have heard of The Ogee Curve in facial aesthetics. This enhancement of the gentle concavity of the face, while maintaining a chiseled malar point is a delicate balance indeed. Choosing a skilled surgeon with an impeccable aesthetic eye can help you achieve this balance.

Just remember, a little bit goes a long way. Consider a temporary solution before undergoing a more permanent option. You can always go back for more, or decide on a permanent option later. I truly believe that slow and easy wins the race in plastic surgery. Reversing a bad mistake is far more difficult than avoiding one in the first place.

Buttock Implants: More Junk In Zee Trunk

Although I have more backside than I will ever need, I know many people—my bestfriend in fact—who have no butt whatsoever.  I would give her some of mine as she has often requested but apparently, that’s just not possible as of yet.

So, what to do if you have no arse?  You go out and buy yourself one, that’s what you do.  Oh yes, you can buy butts these days, like a bucket of chicken or a new set of Egyptian cotton sheets off the shelf.  Well, it’s almost that easy, but not without its risks.

What Are My Options?

Implants used to be the only way to go about getting a rounder butt, but these days there are a few more options—not many, but a few worth mentioning.

• Buttock Implants:  While this procedure was more common when augmentation was in its infancy, it is still performed when fat is not available elsewhere on the body for harvesting.  This produce requires the insertion of either solid silicone, or cohesive silicone gel implants placed using an incision within the cheek crease or within the crack.  Seriously.  Unfortunately implants are at a higher risk for infection, and also sit about where the pockets of your jeans sit.  They do not feel as natural as fat grafting, if when the softer silicone gel implants are used.
• Fat Grafting (also called a Brazilian Butt Lift):  One of the newest procedures in augmentation the buttocks, fat grafting is a procedure which utilizes your own fat reserves from elsewhere on the body and is transplanted to the buttock area.  Normally fat is taken via liposuction from the belly area, saddle bag, or inner thigh area (if there is enough), spun in a centrifuge, treated so only viable, whole fat cells are left over and then these cells are injected with large bore needles to add definition and enlarge the buttocks.  This procedure can produce a very natural result, although not all of the fat transplanted will be retained.
• Buttocks Lift:  This procedure is more designed to lift the butt to a more youthful and pleasing shape. Although it is not without its scars–the incisions are normally above the buttocks about where a bikini would sit.  You must realize that the scars are visible when you are nude.  It is often used in conjunction with fat grafting to further enhance the result.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions at your consultations.  How many scars will you have from the injections, how much retention does your doctor feel you are able to achieve, if there is little to no improvement, will he revise for free or at a discounted price?  What is the true recovery period and how long will it be before you can sit on your bum?  This is your body, ask away.  It is important to be well-informed before you undergo any cosmetic procedure.  With the cost being anywhere between $4,000. and $15,000. you deserve to know what you are into before you get on the operating table. Being informed and knowing what to expect is half the battle.