Every time someone asks my opinion on if they should tell a spouse, employer, friend, or child about their decision to have plastic surgery, my answer is always the same. This is a very personal decision that must be made on your own. For some, it is a decision made with much thought; for others it is simply a matter of when to tell. The question you have to ask yourself is what type of person are you?
Questions You Should Ask Yourself:
- Are you the type of person who is easily hurt by the judgmental comments of others?
- Are you afraid of the ramifications of your elective surgery and how they can affect your personal life if undesirables find out?
- Are you afraid that the news of your surgery may affect your job?
- Are you concerned that your significant other may be upset with you should you decide to have a cosmetic surgery procedure?
- Are you “thin-skinned” and concerned what others may think of you should they find out you have had a cosmetic procedure?
If you have said yes to any of the above, careful consideration should be made in determining who you should confide in, or if you should at all. However, I do not suggest going this alone. I feel that one needs a support structure for optimal healing. During the healing period, highs and lows are to be expected and without a support structure (even a solitary friend who can be there for you), the lows can dip right into the deep end. Of course depending upon what type of procedure you have can determine if you will be able to keep it a secret at all. If you have a total makeover or considerable facial plastic surgery—it may be obvious. You are under no obligation to tell anyone about your plastic surgery procedures.
As for keeping your surgery news from your significant other, I do not condone this, but this is also not my decision. I feel that if you must keep major events such as these from a loved one, then you are indeed betraying their trust to a certain degree. In the event that something should happen, your significant other will need to know where you are and what you have gone through to help you. If they find out after the fact, they may be very upset. I know many believe that asking forgiveness is easier than asking permission, but I assure you, it may not be that easy if it is a spouse!
Keeping the rumor mill quiet at your place of employment can be a real challenge. Everyone knows their coworkers love good gossip, especially when it comes to cosmetic surgery. If you can take off at least two weeks of vacation time, this can help immensely but like I said, significant changes in facial features are hard to disguise with a simple change of hair color or haircut. Be prepared to be asked questions, even inappropriate ones. Just know that a peaceful, non-threatening and comfortable workplace is your right, as well as your right to retain personal privacy without the onslaught of harassment by anyone for any reason. If you ever feel uncomfortable as several of our forum members have, you have every right to demand respect and privacy. Don’t let anyone bully you into talking, or harass you constantly about, “I know you’ve had [this or that] done. Admit it!” This is your body, not someone’s gossip fodder. Take a stand.
If you choose to tell, do so without fear of judgment. Make a point to be proud and show no fear. Those who are jealous often react and prey upon our fears, so give them a smile and keep your chin up.
Telling children can be a different matter entirely. They are going to notice eventually, don’t ever think a child is unobservant, they notice everything eventually even if they don’t come out and say it. It is obviously your choice to tell your child, but being matter of fact can be a good way to handle the situation. Making it a huge deal with invoke curiosity and chatter, being nonchalant about it may not trigger much interest. So the amount of interest you wish you invoke is largely dependent upon the child’s age and personality. You know your child best, you will figure it out. Perhaps join the ladies on the Tummy Tuck forum , as they have had a lot of experience confiding in their children about their procedure.
If you have any great stories (or not so great stories) about how you let everyone know, or not know, or if you were “outed” by a friend, please post!